after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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