i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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