He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
