Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
