I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
