I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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