Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
