at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
