k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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