my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
