Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
