so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
