Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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