Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
