I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
