i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
