I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
