I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
