Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
