He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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