I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
