He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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