some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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