exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
