I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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