so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
