Non-Jews are for practice
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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