Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
