why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
