Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
