No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
