This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
