if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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