That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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