dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
