New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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