I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize