Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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