Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
