Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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