Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Come share oat with me in your robe
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
