Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize