Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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