Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
