You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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