Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's great music for shaving your balls
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
