I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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