would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
