I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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