You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
