dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
