she was so not down for the gang bang
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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