Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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