dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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