I am puke
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
North Korea, Best Korea!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can you bring me the toilet please
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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