At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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