we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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