this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
