Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
