you would pick up someone in the library
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize