So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize