we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize