is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i will never coherently bang her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
